Moving

Its yet another heavy rainy day..

Anyhow..i'm moving my blog to a new webby :

http://mitoca.wordpress.com/

I like the layouts at wordpress more.. haha besides there's password protection. Safer ;) just that i cant use tagboard anymore... but leave me comments will you? :)

This site i'll still keep it.. till it expires.. you can still enjoy the music. =P


Pls update ya links k! Thanks.

He says...

He taught me something lately..

To learn to give even when you feel least of yourself.

Give a smile, lend a ear, say a word of encouragement to ppl who needs it even when you need it the most.

And He will build the joy in you.

Haha. He is so clear about it.

Daph, you obey.

And i know something was not the same anymore.

Not the usual Monday

I actually wanna blog last night but was so dead tired after doing my project slides..

I didnt like the weather very much lately. Its like from a famous oldie song by 刘文正 - 三月里的小雨 except the rain is heavier. It makes one moody and sleepy. It keeps one indoors.

Worst still, i can't jog :P

Still, my Monday was good. Whispered a prayer in the toilet and obeyed the things i should do.

Made a new friend at work, well not very new.. except we seldom talk to one another (due to different workstations). Anyway, we were all talking about some work n stuff and she mentioned that she has some naiveness in her. And I told her, we all do..

Its like a mixture. A combination of this child-like characteristics and at the same time having the personality that you own. Coming to God like a child, believing in him like a child.. but yet at the same time, having to be mature in our thoughts and attitude. How do we balance this?

Intimacy was my answer while i was in the toilet. (Ha, you get answers very often in the space you dwell)

Just like how King David was when he wrote Psalms. He was a man, and more ever a King. How did he come to God like a child? Intimacy. You will only bare ur true self to the one you love. To the one you depend on.

Children. You learn and see much from them. To learn how to unlearn. They are so full of faith and zeal. So trusting. Its like the energy level in them never dies. And then you'll see another side of them, so honest and truthful.

They let you "see" or rather understood some truths you've been looking for.

I want to be a child sometimes. To live outrageously. Laugh outrageously. Fall, cry, stand up and smile...

How Great You Are

You are deserving,
Of all the praises Lord.
And I am yearning,
To be in Your presence once more.

Deep inside my heart is burning,
I want to give you more.
For You’re the only one that I adore.

How great You are!
How great You are!
You are the mighty King,
And You’re come to reign in me.

How great You are!
How great You are!
I give You all the praises of my heart.

music & words by Shannon Wexelberg

Walk it Out

Meiling shared with us on her testimony today @ cell :) ! I like true sharing. She's one amazing woman :)

She shares about how she keep pressing on in her work, her friend (whom she is trying to reach out to) and the kid whom she tutored. This is the 1st time she shares her testimony. You seldom hear from her but today she speaks :) I believe many of us were blessed by it. Am blessed :)

Faithfulness:
Praying and waiting on Him despite your situations. Relying on Him everyday.

I wasnt feeling good lately. Honestly, how can one be happy all the time.

Yet, you choose to be. Not putting on a front. Not setting the problem aside. But you choose to walk in it.

Seeing how Meiling has come through in her many "obstacles" (which translates to victories), am encouraged by it.

:)

希望

私はこの睡眠から目覚めた

これらの願いは漂っている

それはここに終わる


私は信頼する ...


いつの日か神は私に答える

We can go on and on...

It's strange that ppl still hide despite knowing that He cares. Despite knowing what it is written. Despite knowing He is waiting for you to turn around.

The hide i'm saying here is to turn away from what He has spoken to you in many ways for you to change. And also hiding away ur true self.

But i think its no use hiding and not doing something about it. Cos' its a matter of time the issue will be right in front of ur face again. And each time it does, it is more difficult to overcome. It needs another level of covering it up.

And the more layers you try to cover, the more you find it difficult to allow His truth / light expose into your life.

Ok.. intense. But i just want to make a point. Becos' i do think that ppl who do not want to share could be becos' they are inferior in who they are. Refuse to allow ppl to see another side of their vulnerability. They may think that ppl will not have the "usual" impression on them. Fear. Insecurity. Untrusting. Hurts. Self Esteem.. etc etc

I know how it feels like. You just want to hide.

But these are not excuses of not dealing with them. Big no no.

Putting on a force front is tiring. I did that before - its not worth it. I would rather come to Him in tears, share with ppl whom can speak life and take responsibility of that issue. Set aside the emotions cos' they are just momentarily. We cant just base on how we feel all the time to make decisions. Easy to say but can be done.

Unless, one have made a decision to change. else i think its rather difficult for one to see a breakthrough. Sometimes you just have to tell yourself, "Enough of pity parties! move on!"

Yes, God loves. But He sure has rebuke me through words, ppl and situations etc. That's love too. Love is speaking the truth even when it hurts.

:) i'm bless to have friends who share, who encourages. Its always good to have friends who are supportive.

Ok not sure if i'm making any sense here.. but i think most went through the hard way too just to confront their insecurities. But hey, its a rewarding experience once you conquer one of the mountains :)

And its all worth it.

Not Impressed

Felt weird these days.

Its one of those days where you just want to hide. Be alone. I'm weird. Odd. Strange.

Many things coming up at work, sth is brewing. Anyway, one of my colleague confide in me lately that she cant take it any longer becos' of the 'continual handover' to another team. (Its a long story)

Job frustrations. Or rather ppl frustrates.

Anyway back to the point, she is feeling stressed up and cant sleep in the night. And sometimes she even broke down and cry. She told me today that this year she needs to build herself up. I told her she dont have to rely on her strength. She gave me a bewildered look and asked why.

I explained. But i didnt get to the whole God topic yet. Just shared with her my experiences etc. And while i was doing that, i thought to myself, will He uses my testimony to bless someone? Answer is obviously a yes. But i doubted. I doubted that my words have no effect on ppl. -- this is a weakness!!!

Sigh.... i know i know..

I always ask Him to use me as a life testimony.. and when the real thing comes, unbelief cames in. Unbelief in myself. A lack of confidence in Him.

He's not impressed. so am i.....

Hit me with good advice

I think i figured out what it actually meant by :

Faithful are the wounds of a friend. —Proverbs 27:6

I mean as in really understood the meaning.

Sometimes i wish He will deal with me in a hard way so this stubborn personality of mine will be whipped.

He didn't. Thankfully. becos' that would be by force, and of cos, i dont think i'll accept or repent. =P

Well, i'm not perfect (and will never be but striving to be close to that) and i should welcome counsel from friends who gives good advice. Reliable friends will motivate you to change for the better. Friends who speak into your life.

“Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. Let him rebuke me; it shall be as excellent oil; let my head not refuse it” (Ps. 141:5).

Great stuff.

While jogging

Went for a short jog just a few hours ago. Went fellowshipping with Him while jogging was fun. Ha.

Sat there on the bench thinking to myself.. that there are things which you simply won't get any answers. There are times when you just have to stop asking "why" and accept the way things are. He reminds.

And it is comforting to know that He knows what to do with me, rather than me knowing what to do with myself. At least when i didnt know what to do, He knows.

Meditate on how big God is. He gives the best. I trust.

We are here for His pleasure. We are here because He wants our fellowship.

We serve a Great God.

Keeping the smile in you

Nice pic i have here, dont you think? ;)

The 3rd day of CNY already.. time is a thief. Very soon, we'll have to get back into action - Work (haha ok i shall not rub it in - preservere)

Seems like as you get older, CNY become just a normal holiday where you can just laze at home (besides the eating and all) or just meet up with friends etc.

But am glad that i had some quality time with friends whom we have not meet for quite awhile. We chatted till 4am. Yes, we redeemed the long lost time to talk for that night. From social economics, to complaints, relationships, future etc. I like it esp. when friends are honest and open to speak their minds though we have different opinions. It doesnt matter. The common thing is understanding.

I have this friend whom i've always wanted to reach out to. She's one of my sec school mates whom we've known each other for years. That night, she poured out what she has been bottling up - her family relationships, it is sth which not many can understand. Becos' of busy work schedules, we seldom have a chance to meet up.

Its an excuse. becos' ppl are selfish with time. I'm one of them.

It reminds me of what Joyce Meyer says in a book: "The world is filled with sad, hurting people. Don't put off until tomorrow of what you can do today. You can put smiles on faces. You can be a smile giver. Use what you have in your hand to make someone else's life get better." Giving is the best way to receive. It works. When you give sth to your neighbours, surely they'll feel awkward if they dont give sth in return to you? I mean its a common cycle among ppl. Of cos, we dont give just becos' we want sth in return. We are called to be different.

However, its always the case, when you have been placed with sth which you really need to do, you simply didnt feel like doing it. At least its for my case.

Start with the ppl around me first if i really want to help.

I need to remind myself to focus on the things i can do and not the things i cant do? Mother Teresa said this well.. "If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one". Great advice. I think sometimes we all want to be bigger and that measure we have in mind is to reach out to the hundreds. If i cant start with what i have, how to i get far from here?

Keep my eyes on Him. After all, it isnt about me :)

Honestly i really do not like the start of the week.

After the weekends, its always a "struggle" to adjust back to the routine work life.

Emails, phonecalls, meetings, interviews; emails, phonecalls, meetings, interviews.

Nothing stops. Sometimes it is irking.

And I have this strange candidate who keeps asking why she was not selected for a 2nd interivew. And all i could reply is that her skills do not match the job requirements. Apparently, she does not seems to get it. (?)

Oh well...

Is this what it means by starting all over again? (-_____-)

Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun.. and you go back to the basics. Again and again until you are refinED.

Not funny. And i'm really sleepy now.

Some thoughts..

I guess in everyone of us, there's this desire to be someone bigger. Like E says, we are born for BIGGER things.

No reason why i'm saying this. Just thinking about this 'something' which i would really want to move on to. Funny thing is that, it stirs and calls one to be reminded again and again. It is not to be ignored.

I like it when P.Tan shared on the phrase by Mother Theresa, "I'm not called to be successful, I'm called to be faithful."

Guess it must have taken several times of similar events to occur and to eventually making this to be a statement. I've taken lightly many of the things which was being said and realised that the whole story here is i'm not the main lead.

This stage is not build for my own enjoyment.

Its amazing how a man who was so crushed by his own physical circumstances could stand up and shout that He is good. He still uses this man who testify of His Greatness.

Its amazing how He showed us love in many ways. Through people, the homeless, the poor, through sadness, through joy.

There's so much to offer. And i'm thankful that He uses me. I want to be used in whichever way He directs. Though i know i'll definitely squirm when time comes. ;)

I want to be someone who waters, who plants and sows. The after effect is that you'll get watered as well. You'll be blessed by the person whom you blessed. Not saying about having good returns of doing good. But this blessing is something which is neither in monetary terms nor material stuff. Something GREATER.

I've many thoughts tonight which i cant express? Ha.

And i do THINK. its just a matter of expression. =P

And Daph, even if its not what it seems.. He directs. You obey.

The Old has gone, The New has come

Came back home from family dinner, and OMG.. my furnitures were all in different position. As in my room.

No. am not fascinated by the works of my dad and probably suggestions from my mum.. I think they are into this feng shui thingy and i told them it does not matter if i sleep near to the door or facing the mirror. (rolls eyes)

I guess this is what change gives you when its least expected - shocked. dunno how to react.

And you want to go back to where you feel its comfortable.

Ok. I'll try to get myself adjusted to my newly "revamped" room.. perhaps i'll grow to love the change. (Not likely)

Anyway, had dinner with my family near my aunt's place (she's my favourite aunt :)) Chose to sit with my cousins and brothers (youths) instead with the adults. I guess, i never really enjoyed the company of my other relatives. Cos' they are really boring, talk about the latest technology (mobiles etc), talked abt the usual stuff, their kids education results.. blah. The traditional Chinese cheena family. Oh help me. They are just boring.

I prefer the youths. Always light-hearted, and i figured i can talk to them so much more.

Great to hear that Benjamin's sister has accepted Christ and is planted in a cell group. :) That was one of our prayer made which has come to pass. It has been a joy to witness my cousins' change when they come to know Him. I guess this is one of it.. one of things why we need to be involved in ppl's lives. As in for those ppl that God has placed in your hands. Hmm.. its about time not to waste time. Ha. if u know what i mean.

Ok.. today is short. I have no comments except for the change in my room. *grumbles*

Beautiful You

The sweetness of your words
They filled me everyday
In the stillness, you spoke to me
Whispering in my ear that i am Yours

How beautiful my Savior is!
He puts me above the Angels of the Heavens
And gave His life to bring me home

How wonderful He is!
The lifter of my sorrows
Shelter for my heart

Forever i will sing, Sing of your praise forever!

I am loved
By the Only One who creates me
By the Only One who knows me

How beautiful is your Name!

And i will sing
Sing of your praise forever

Special Day!

I've been reminding myself from the start of the week that whatever the next day is going to come, i'll live it like a special day. Celebrating life.

Used to think that my life is so mundane: Work, Study, Sleep, Eat, Cell, Church. And when ppl asked me "how was your day?" I'm like... "Errr...fine? Nothing special"

I always thought that ppl expect exciting events or those testimonies-that-will-blow-you-away kind of answers.. well sorry, wrong person. I seriously dont have any exciting things to share. (for now..)

And If you know me well, am actually quite boring & quiet. Haha. ok, dont use this against me. =p

Well i guess its all about living with the right mindset.

Today i went to work, not with the usual dread (sian) feeling...just feeling good. Not that everything at work was right. There are still challenging ppl u meet, but yeah, felt peace.

Talked to my colleagues, spend some time getting to know their lives. (Btw, i did it after work & during lunch) It felt good.

I remembered what my ex-colleague used to tell me:" Everyday begins with possibilities. It is up to us to fill it with things that moves us forward. There is no "unimportant day". Everyday, is an instalment of time given by God for our investment."

Everyday is important if we make progress in our lives and if we make a difference to others in what we do & say. It may not be big, all things start small.

I'll remind myself to keep myself clean & bright - cos i am the window through which i see the world.

And If my heart is contaminated with complains, anger, bitterness and dissatisfaction, my heart will be very dark and unattractive.

He sees my heart more than what i do :)

He Reigns!!

Promoted

Received the letter this morning from my boss :)

Really thankful to the One who has bring me thus far (and further to come). All Glory goes to Him. I'm happy though not much expressions shown on my face. Haha. Its not excitement. Just thankful.

Looking back at my 2007 time that i've invested, its all on work. I guess i would like to do sth different this year?

Just a thought. No plans yet. But i'll do it. *prays*

No, not getting attached or having a driving license. But if that comes, i dont mind. Ha. I would want to do sth more closer to my purpose (?) To prepare myself for that purpose, i've to make a step forward first.

I believe that if you seek after Him, all will be added to you eventually.


Anyway, today at cell, we were supposed to share our purpose in this year and what are the few things we want to achieve.


I couldnt quite figure out yet now. not meaning to say directionless.. but always have this thought to do sth extra this yr. I'll share when i have sorted them out. =P


Meanwhile....akang datang :)

I realized that no matter what i do, i must not have the expectation from ppl that they will thank or appreciate me.

In fact, it is only fair. In situations like that, i can tell myself that I do not need their reason in order to work for them.

Today i have ppl running around asking for things without getting a "queue no." and all wants the same attention and immediate delivery.

I feel like asking God to shut them out of here.

or rather i would love to be shut away from them.

But no. I shall not walk by "i feel" but i'll walk by "i will"

I will do what is pleasing to Him, what He entrusts me with. He says they can but I cant. To walk with him isnt just simply a prayer to say "Lord, I surrender." But to live it as you mean it EVERYDAY.

And i remembered E said... each step forward gets heavier. It does, but i will.

It is not Funny

Walked to work today and reminded myself that am walking in His purpose. Whatever i do is for His name sake. Got to be obedient and good.

Everything was good in the morning, doing my work, clearing emails. Had lunch and came back for work.

And this is the "moment". Mails were in huge quantities and each email is an instruction. Work is piling up. Reports on the list. Bite myself and say finish them as much as i can. Ok. set myself to do it. But i was getting there (meaning about to get fed up)

And i have friends like Ever and Eric who really are funny (on msn & email). One is talking sense & the other is non-sense. (Haha) And having Gracie texting me in early mornings to encourage me.. friends are gifts. really.

Sometimes a laugh or an advice from a friend helps. It cuts away those moments when i feel am getting there, to get me re-focus that He is my boss.

Moments like this are a reminder that this is what "flesh nailing" is. No matter how unwilling you are, you just have to move forward with the Joy that is set before Him.

Its painful. And its not funny.

Change starts from me

I remembered when i was new to Christianity, there was always this urge to change a person's mind. I believe it comes from a good intention. To share the Good news. To introduce Him to ppl.

This urge to change a person's mind lasted for quite awhile and i became judgmental subsequently. Thinking that they should change their mindset and questioned why is it that they do not understand?

And becos' of this stubborn mind i have, i missed out seeing the flaws in me. He, being so timely spoke through a book which i've read a couple of times. (see how blind a person can be when they are so focus on the faults of one!)

Not many can embrace change easily. I admit i wasn't a fan for "Change". But you know, when you are with Him, sometimes you'll just have to be quiet and obey. Ha.

I'll share from a book by John Maxwell... a couple of reasons why ppl are resistant to change.

1. Ppl resist change becos' of Personal Loss

2. Ppl resist change becos' of Fear of the Unknown

3. Ppl resist change becos' the Timing may be Wrong

4. Ppl resist change becos' it Feels Awkward

5. Ppl resist change becos' of Tradition (P.K. just shared with us not long ago)

And for the matter of fact, we can't change people. No matter how hard we try to, we can't. This is a truth. Somewhere i've read from a book says, God treats our freewill as a sacred thing which is one of the reason why He does not force His will upon us. This power of choice was given to us.

All the more we shouldn't enforce our expectations upon others.

I've learnt that a lot of changes come from within me. It starts from me. If I can't change myself, how can i inspire others to do the same?

If I can't change myself, how can i even talk to others about Change.

And I like this :

"The greatest difference my difference maker can make is within me, not others"

Its not just the only, but the greatest difference you can make is within yourself :)

Not forgetting the Author and Finisher who will do the change in you.